Ain't Got a Clue

Thomas Friedman is always talking about the War on Ideas underlying broader struggles like our newfangled War on Terror(ism) -- sharp power is necessary, but ineffectual without the appeal of soft power. I've always found his arguments pretty persuasive, and common sensical as well.

He goes at it again today in his column about how the Bushies' massive PR machine -- which managed in 2004 to propagandize Max Cleland and John Kerry, two authentic war heroes, into oblivion -- is strangely toothless when it comes to the terrorist nightmare.

Ask yourself this: If Osama bin Laden were running against George Bush for president, how would Karl Rove and Karen Hughes have handled the Yazidi murders? Within an hour, they’d have had a press release out saying: “This genocide of Iraqi civilians was inspired by bin Laden. We accuse bin Laden of the mass murder of 500 women and children. Bin Laden has killed more Iraqis and Muslims than any person alive. Support bin Laden and you support genocide against Muslims.” And they would have repeated that point on every network, every day.

F.Y.I.

Big news! I begin work on September 10, the day after the U.S. Open men's final, as a "National Copyreader" (read: editor) at Dow Jones. I am sad I won't be attending the U.S. Open as a member of the press -- for the first time since 2003 -- but this is a good set of circumstances overall, methinks. We shall see.

Funny Math

I received this from my sister recently: a fable about Polly Nomial, a convergent function who loses her way, published in the Journal of Irreproducible Results, a science humor (!) journal.

It's jargony, clever, and pretty darn punny. I was laughing out loud, and I don't usually laugh out loud. And I didn't even get most of it since that part of my brain has been shut off for so long. A sample from the story of Polly:

She was being watched however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. Was she still convergent, he wondered. He decided to integrate improperly at once.

Hearing a vulgar function behind her, Polly turned round, and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once, by his degenerate conic and his dissipative terms, that he was bent on no good.

"Eureka!" she gasped.

"Ho, ho!" he said. "What a symmetric little polynomial you are. I can see that you are absolutely bubbling over with secs."

"Sir," she said, "keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."

"Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginary."

"i, i" she thought. "Perhaps he's homogeneous then?"

Minneapolis Bridge Collapses

Last evening a bridge connecting Minneapolis and St. Paul, weighed down with bumper-to-bumper rush-hour traffic, broke into several pieces and plunged over 60 feet into the Mississippi River. At least 50 vehicles fell. As of now up to nine people (according to some sources) are said to have died, and at least 60 people were injured.

Since when do we have Third World infrastructure? And in Minnesota, of all places? An out and out collapse. None of it is standing.

Apparently last year hairline fractures were discovered in the bridge, but guess what work they were doing on it as of yesterday, when it fell? Nothing structural. Repairs to the deck, guard rails, and lights.

I hope this lights a fire under some asses, in that city and others. In the meantime, I can't imagine what some of these commuters went through. Supposedly a bus full of children avoided spilling into the river by just a few feet. I was reading about it this morning as my train rumbled across the Manhattan Bridge, over the East River. This kind of thing is one of my worst nightmares.